Find yourself drifting off mid-sentence? Struggle to focus on the person you’re speaking to? It doesn’t mean that you’re boring, but it could mean that you’re inadvertently using common conversation killers.These are phrases that can bring almost any conversation grinding to a halt. While you might not realize it, you could be the one making your conversations dull. Luckily, that’s easy to fix. Read on to find out more about what kills a conversation, and how you can put some life back into your communication.
Killer Phrase No. 1: “Oh, really?”
A friend shares some exciting news that they’ve been dying to tell you. How do you respond? If it’s with, “Oh, really?” then chances are the conversation won’t go much further. Your friend will respond with something like, “Yes, really…” or “I know, I couldn’t believe it either!” There’s no opportunity for them to give you more detail, and you haven’t given much indication that you’re interested in what they have to say – a big conversation killer. It’s easy to revert to saying, “Oh, really?” when you’re not sure what to say, but it’s not hard to break the habit with a little extra thought.
What you should say instead
Let’s say your friend has just told you about a scholarship they’ve been awarded. Instead of bringing the conversation to a halt with another, “Oh, really?”, try the following strategies:
Ask open-ended questions like, “How did you feel when you found out?” Ask about specific details, like, “What did you have to do to apply?” Talk about a similar experience you’ve had, and compare details, like, “I know when I applied for a scholarship it took a lot of work.”
Killer Phrase No. 2: “Awesome”, “Cool” or “Great”
It’s nice to give the person you’re speaking to positive feedback, but one word replies like ‘awesome” and “cool” don’t add much to the conversation. If you really like what they have to say, why not make a bit more effort to express that? Or if you’re just saying “cool” because you’re not sure what else to say, why not ask some questions instead?
What you should say instead
Being positive is great, but it’s important not to reply to everything with just a single word – that just doesn’t take the conversation anywhere. Here’s what you should try instead:
Specify why you think what they’ve said is cool/awesome/great, saying things like, “I love that you’ve decided to go vegetarian because I’ve always been passionate about animal rights.” Ask for more information, saying something like, “Cool, I’ve never heard of that film – can you tell me more?”
Killer Phrase No. 3: “-yeah, I…”
Are you one of those people who just can’t help but interrupt during conversations? You’re sure you know exactly what the other person is about to say, so why not finish their sentence for them, or butt in with your reply? Interrupting the person you’re speaking to can be extremely off-putting for them, and won’t make them keen to carry on the conversation. Listening is so important when communicating, so don’t become so preoccupied with what you’re going to say that you ignore the other person.
What you should say instead
If you struggle to stop interrupting others, try practicing active listening. [1] Listening involves five stages: A conversation should never end in boredom. Follow these tips to keep your conversations interesting, engaging, and enjoyable for you and the person you’re speaking to.
